It was my first Women's Retreat. I had only been a Christian for a year and was still getting used to everything that was so different from my JW upbringing. While songs of worship had always been an important part of my relationship with God, I had never really experienced worship until I came to truly know Christ. I had felt God calling me to raise my hands in worship for a long time but I just wouldn't surrender. I was afraid. Afraid of what people would think.Afraid I would look silly. Afraid that I had no right to experience this deep relationship with Christ while I was yet so young in my faith. Afraid that my family would label me a "Jesus freak", a title that I now wear with honor.
So there I stood in the front row at the end of the evening. I could literally feel my arms wanting to raise, but I refused. The Spirit was stirring in me but I kept trying to hold Him back. I was audibly crying and saying "No Lord I can't, I can't". But as I cried He whispered to me of surrender, He assured me that this place He was calling me to was full of blessing and a deeper relationship with Him. It was as if I could see His face smiling down on me. As I surrendered and lifted my hands to the One true God my soul was overwhelmed with joy and love and thanksgiving. The tears that streamed down my face were now accompanied by a smile and a heart bursting with love for the Lord. Why had it been so difficult for me to say yes? How could I not trust the very One who formed me?
It was not the last time He called me to say yes that night. But since that day, worshiping Jesus with music has been my deepest way to communicate with Him. He speaks to me through song. He reminds me of His faithfulness and love, of His promises. That He has always been there and always will. He calls me to new places. His love for me compels my voice to praise Him and my hands to be open and raised, #palmsup, surrendering all that I have, all that I am, and all that I will be to His divine purpose.
This single act of obedience, this #YestoGod, has forever changed me. It laid the foundation for many yes's to follow. Every time I say yes to God and allow Him to work in and through my life I get to know His character, His purpose, His will. It doesn't mean that it is always easy to say yes but as Lysa Terkeurst says in her book What Happens When Women Say Yes to God ; "The love of Christ compels us to choose obedience."
Everyone worships God differently and I don't expect that you all raise your hands in worship. But, what is God calling YOU to say yes to? Your simple yes, an act of surrender and obedience, will open the door for a deeper relationship with Him, a deeper understanding of His glorious will for your life. What will you choose? "Will the next page in your life be filled with doubts and distractions? Or will it be filled with discovering the blessing of answering God's call on your life?"
I stand #amazed at what God does in our lives when we surrender to His will <3
So What Could I Say
And What Could I do
But offer this heart oh God
Completely to You
...I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned, IN AWE of THE ONE who gave it all. I'll stand my soul Lord to you SURRENDERED, ALL I AM IS YOURS!!
ReplyDeleteLove this song, love your testimony, just beautiful.
I have had the honor and privilege of being up on the platform worshipping to this song with our congregation and seeing those that are hesitant to lift their arms. You can tell when people are wrestling with it, like you were, like I did years ago, and then just burst out in total reckless abandon....I mean you can see the breakthrough...it is so beautiful!!
Many times all it takes is the right invitation at the right time. Thank God for these, and the many other, musical artists that have said #YestoGod!!
My breakthrough song was 'Here I am to Worship'. I will never forget that! Experiencing worship in this way changed my relationship with Jesus which totally changed my life!!
Love you girl, so glad to see you blogging :)
Kym
You inspire me Amber! Thank you for your blog post, I still struggle daily to completely say yes, but I am trying!
ReplyDeleteTressa
Oh, those raised hands! I struggled with that, too. I love that you said yes in this and that it inspired you to keep on saying YES to God. Standing #Amazed right along with you, friend.
ReplyDeleteYour post is speaking to me right where I am! And I think I struggle with the lifting of hands because not many do it in our church ( But it shouldn't have anything to do with that! and I know it!) and my husband doesn't even sing let alone raise his hands, I don't want to be looked at etc. all of which are a bunch of excuses and negative chatter to hold me back... and I recognize that... so why am I letting it continue to hold me back? =/ Great post, thank you for sharing!! ~ Stephanie
ReplyDeleteStunning, Amazing and Beautiful. Love your blog, love your heart, you're such an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteWow Amanda, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. You have such a gift for writing. I followed along very eager to read the next time of this beautiful testimony.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean--the literal desire of wanting to lift my hands but being so preoccupied with what other people may think that we end up being disobedient for a time.
One of my favorite quotes ever is by Eleanor Roosevelt: "You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do."
Thank you for sharing this with others. I was very blessed by it!
- Joyce @ http://morninggloryblog.org
I'm feeling you, sweet sister. Thank you for sharing this story. Honored to serve God with you!
ReplyDeleteLauren, P31 OBS Small Group Leader